THE SPACE BETWEEN: Issue 01 |

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When the Body Remembers: Understanding Trauma and Your Nervous System

A monthly space for women to learn, connect, and heal.

A Note From Me ♡

Welcome to the very first edition of our official newsletter!

I cannot tell you how excited I am that you're here.

Creating this newsletter has been something I've wanted to do for a very long time. Many of you know me as the woman behind Time To Be Candle Company, where I pour my heart into creating candles that bring a little peace and comfort into your homes. But there's another part of my heart that is equally passionate about helping people navigate life's challenges, understand themselves, and find their way toward healing.

As both a candle maker and a therapist, I've come to appreciate how important it is to create spaces where we can slow down, reconnect with ourselves, and feel supported.

And I believe that, as women, we need those spaces now more than ever.

So many of us are carrying things that others cannot see. We are mothers, daughters, partners, friends, caregivers, and professionals. We're often so busy showing up for everyone else that we forget to check in with ourselves.

My hope is that this newsletter becomes something more than just another email in your inbox.

I want it to be a place where we learn together, have honest conversations about trauma and healing, and begin to understand the connection between our minds and bodies. A place where women can feel seen, supported, and reminded that they don't have to navigate everything alone.

Each month, we'll explore a different part of the healing journey, from understanding trauma and the nervous system to learning practical ways to support ourselves through somatic practices, emotional awareness, and self-compassion. I also would like to discuss recognizing red flags and how they can present in unexpected ways.

You don't need to have all the answers. You don't need to be at a particular point in your healing. You just need to come as you are.

I'm so grateful you're here.

With warmth and gratitude,

Tiana Pistillo, LMSW

Founder, Time To Be Candle Company

01 | Let's Talk About Trauma

What exactly is trauma?

When we hear the word trauma, we often think of something terrible happening, like an accident, abuse, or losing someone we love.

But trauma can be more complicated than that.

Trauma is not just about what happened to you. It's also about how that experience affected you.

When something feels frightening, overwhelming, or unsafe, your brain and body work together to protect you.

Sometimes, even after the experience is over, your body continues reacting as though danger might still be nearby.

Think of it this way:

Imagine your brain has a smoke alarm.

When there's a fire, the alarm goes off to protect you. That's exactly what it's supposed to do.

But what if the alarm becomes so sensitive that it starts going off every time you make toast?

That's one way to understand how trauma can affect your nervous system.

Your body may begin responding to ordinary situations as if they're dangerous, even when you're actually safe.

And those reactions aren't always something you can simply think your way out of.

02 | Trauma, PTSD & CPTSD: What's the Difference?

These words are often used interchangeably, but they don't mean exactly the same thing.

TRAUMA — An overwhelming experience

Trauma describes experiences that can leave us feeling frightened, helpless, or unsafe, sometimes with lasting emotional or physical effects.

Not everyone who experiences trauma develops a mental health condition.

PTSD — When the danger feels like it hasn't ended

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder can develop after someone experiences or witnesses a traumatic event.

Someone with PTSD might experience unwanted memories, nightmares, avoidance, feeling constantly on guard, or changes in their mood and thinking.

These symptoms persist and interfere with daily life.

CPTSD — When trauma has been repeated or long-lasting

Complex PTSD can develop following prolonged or repeated trauma, particularly when escaping the situation feels difficult or impossible.

Along with PTSD symptoms, someone may struggle with regulating emotions, feeling worthy, or trusting and connecting with other people.

CPTSD is recognized in the ICD-11 diagnostic system, although it isn't a separate diagnosis in the DSM-5-TR used by many U.S. clinicians.

The important takeaway: Trauma is an experience and its possible effects. PTSD and CPTSD describe specific patterns of symptoms. Experiencing trauma does not automatically mean you have either diagnosis.

03 | Your Nervous System: Your Body's Built-In Protection System

Your nervous system is constantly collecting information about what's happening around you and inside your body.

Its job includes helping you recognize danger and respond when something feels threatening.

When your brain senses danger, your body may enter a survival response.

Fight: You might become angry, defensive, tense, or easily frustrated.

Flight: You might feel restless, anxious, panicked, or desperate to get away.

Freeze: You might feel stuck, unable to move, think clearly, or respond.

These are common ways of describing protective responses, not separate diagnoses or the only states your nervous system can experience.

The important thing to understand is that these reactions can happen automatically.

Your body is trying to protect you, even if the reaction no longer matches what's happening in the present.

04 | Signs Your Nervous System May Be Overwhelmed

Sometimes the signs are obvious. Other times, they're so familiar that we don't even recognize them.

You might notice:

• Feeling anxious or on edge even when nothing seems wrong

• Becoming irritated by small things

• Feeling exhausted despite getting enough sleep

• Having trouble concentrating or remembering things

• Experiencing headaches, muscle tension, or stomach discomfort

• Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected

• Having difficulty relaxing

• Feeling overwhelmed by noise, crowds, or too many responsibilities

• Struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep

• Feeling like you need to be in control of everything

These experiences can be associated with stress and trauma, but they can also have other medical, emotional, or environmental causes.

A question worth asking yourself:

Am I actually in danger right now, or is my body responding to something that reminds it of a time when I didn't feel safe?

You don't need to force an answer. Sometimes simply becoming curious about your reactions is a meaningful beginning.

05 | When Your Nervous System Has Had Enough

Think about your nervous system like a phone battery.

Throughout the day, your energy is used by responsibilities, relationships, decisions, emotions, and stress.

When too much is demanded of you without enough opportunities to recover, you may begin to feel overloaded.

You might notice that you're crying more easily, snapping at people you love, withdrawing from conversations, or feeling unable to handle one more request.

For some women, overload looks like anxiety and restlessness.

For others, it looks like shutting down, becoming quiet, or feeling completely exhausted.

Neither reaction means you're weak.

It may be a sign that your body and mind need additional support, rest, or a change in what's being asked of you.

06 | A Moment for You: Try This Gentle Grounding Practice

You don't need special equipment or a perfect quiet space.

Take 60 seconds to try the following:

1. Look around and identify three things you can see.

2. Notice where your body is supported by your chair or the floor.

3. If comfortable, take a slow, gentle breath without forcing it.

4. Remind yourself of where you are and today's date.

5. Ask yourself: What is one small thing I need right now?

It might be water, rest, fresh air, connection, or simply a few minutes without another responsibility.

If focusing on your body or breathing feels uncomfortable, you can keep your attention on something outside yourself instead.

Grounding doesn't erase trauma, but it may help some people reconnect with the present moment.

07 | Something to Carry With You

You can be strong and still need support.

You can be grateful for your life and still feel overwhelmed.

You can love the people around you and still need boundaries.

And you can be making progress even on days when things feel difficult.

Healing isn't about never having another hard day.

It's about slowly building the understanding, support, and tools that help you navigate those days differently.

A Little Reflection

Before you leave this month's newsletter, consider:

When do I feel most at ease in my body?

What situations tend to leave me feeling overwhelmed or disconnected?

What is one small way I can support myself this week?

You don't need to answer everything today.

Awareness is a meaningful place to begin.

Until Next Time

Next month, we'll explore what it means to feel safe in your body and why that can be difficult after stressful or traumatic experiences.

Thank you for spending a little of your day here.

With warmth,Tiana Pistillo, LMSW

The Space Between | Time To Be Candle Company

Educational note: This newsletter provides general mental health education and is not a substitute for individualized therapy, diagnosis, or medical care.